I hate being home. It’s like, once I step in that house, I’m surrounded by bad energy. It gets me in a bad mood and when I’m in a bad mood, it’s like… fuck the world.
I’m good, though. Although…
One thing that is hurting me is seeing my friends being hurt themselves. Another is when I feel like they feel like they can’t talk to me or the fact that they just choose not to. I have to find stuff out by reading their blogs, Facebook statuses, or wherever they may be posting their feelings. I see all of that and the pieces come together.
I always try to be the best friend I can be; if something is wrong with my friends, I will go out of my way to try to give them the best advice as possible. If anybody feels like I haven’t been that way, I apologize.
However, I do feel like my relationships with some people aren’t the way they used to be… or at least the way they should be. For people who feel the same way…
Imagine there was no tomorrow (imagine)
Imagine that I couldn’t see your face (your face)
There’d be no limit to my sorrow (oh no)
Cause there is nothing that can fill this space
I don’t wanna put it off for too long
I didn’t say all that i had to say
I wanna take the time to right the wrongs
Before we get to the playI wanna tell you something
Give you something
Show you in so many ways
Cause it would all mean nothing
If I don’t say something
Before it all goes awayDon’t wanna wait to bring you flowers
Waste another hour
Let alone another day
gonna tell you something
you something
Won’t wait til it’s too late
- Alicia Keys’ ”Tell You Something”
That goes for my father too. I’m not gonna be bitter just because I feel like he isn’t the father that I want him to be. As for my mom, I wish there was more communication between us… no complaints, really.
I don’t like being mushy about anything (bold italics much needed) but what else can I do? I’m just speaking my mind. What would you do?
Oh, and I’m in a relationship. I’m actually happy. It’s with someone that people wouldn’t expect me to be with. I don’t care who finds out, though. I’m me and that’s all I’ll ever be. “Take me, I’m yours, and I don’t really care who knows.” Caraballo, baby. <3
